[Steve Myers]: If you had to describe the feel of this world, especially with the challenges that it’s facing at this time, there’s another word that came to my mind, contentious.

This world seems to just want to pick a fight. The other day, I was flipping the channels, and there was this talk show going on, and this family was having issues between themselves. And the next thing you knew they’re throwing chairs at each other, and we call this entertainment. It’s not the only time it happens. And so, it seems that is kind of the way things are right now. It doesn’t seem like we can figure out how to work things out. Arguing and contentiousness is out there. It seems that we can’t help taking sides. Do you find that in your experience? I mean, “I’m team red.” “No, I’m team blue.” And boy, if you are team red, and I’m team blue, today, it’s not like, “Well, you just have a different opinion than I do.” That is definitely not the case, is it? It seems like, “Well, if I’m red and you’re blue, I hate you. I hate you. You are something that is totally foreign to me.”

And that seems to be the way things are going. And it seems like people are solidifying into taking sides. And yet when you think about God’s congregation of people, think about our congregation, is it possible that even good congregations find brethren with differences that just don’t seem to be able to get along? Is that possible? Well, there’s several examples in the Bible that actually speak to that very situation. One of them is found over in Philippians 4. If you want to begin to make your way over to Philippians 4, the apostle Paul writes this beautiful letter to Philippi. In fact, oftentimes, commentators will call it Paul’s thank you note to the Philippians because the Philippians were an amazing church, an amazing congregation, one that stepped out and helped him and served Paul, sent him help when he was traveling through the Roman Empire so that he was able to continue to preach and teach. And they stepped up and really served in that way.

But it was also interesting to find that Philippi was not the perfect congregation, that there were rifts between members right there in this church that had set such an amazing example. And so, Paul had to address it as well in this letter. And in chapter 4, if you’re there, verse 1, Paul doesn’t shy away from addressing the contentiousness that had come into God’s church in Philippi. And he begins in verse 1, chapter 4, he says,

Philippians 4:1 – “Therefore, my beloved and longed for brethren, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, beloved.” Then in verse 2, he has a little bit of a shift of thought, and he says, “I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. I also urge you, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life. Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say rejoice.”

Now, I don’t know about you. I’ve always thought at times, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have your name in the Bible? Would it be cool if my name would... and there was a reference to me in the Bible?” That would be really cool, unless your name is Euodia or Syntyche, right? Like, “Oh, I don’t want that kind of reference in the Bible,” is like, “Come on, you guys, straighten up. What’s wrong with you?” Yeah, that’s not the best way to be mentioned in the Bible. But Paul doesn’t shy away from saying, “You two have an issue and this is not acceptable, having a contention between you to quarrel.” I mean, we’re not told what the issue was, doesn’t seem to be a doctrinal thing at all, but more of a personal kind of a deal that they just didn’t seem to be working out. And so here, Paul is telling them, “You need to have peace, you need to work this out.” And in fact, he not only addresses the two of them, but expands this to the entire congregation, that the congregation has a responsibility to make peace. And so Paul, in just these few little verses, begins to show how it’s possible to have unity, how to work things out with your brother.

Now, normally, when you think of go to your brother, probably a whole different set of scripture comes to mind. You probably think of Matthew 18, “Well, go to your brother,” and there’s some valuable information there. But here in Paul’s letter to Philippi in chapter 4, he gives us a number of ways that we, all of us, can make for peace, that we can be peacemakers, or maybe to think of it in a little bit different terms, that we can be a spiritual diplomat. You know, diplomats work out situations between sometimes countries or people. And here, Paul tells us, “Here’s a way to be that spiritual diplomat, here’s how you can work for peace, how you can be a peacemaker, and ultimately, how you can achieve unity.”

And so in chapter 4, he begins to tell us, not just that you should do it, he says, “Here’s how, here’s how.” And if we read over it really quickly, we might miss it. But if you’ve got a little marker, you might put that right here in Philippians 4 because we’ll come back to this little section a number of times throughout the sermon this afternoon. And right off the bat, when we begin chapter 4, what does Paul do? I mean, he knows there’s this issue, and he knows he has to address it, but he begins by expressing his love and appreciation. Even though there’s this problem between these two sides, you’ve got your red side and your blue side, I don’t doubt that there were probably some, you know, team Euodia and team Syntyche over here within the congregation. And Paul begins by saying, “If you’re going to be a peacemaker, you have to love both sides. You have to love both sides.”

Look at the words that he uses here in these first couple of verses. He says, “My longed-for brethren, we’re family, we are family.” And of course, Paul loved those in Philippi. He loved God’s people. He may have had a hand in their conversion as he preached and he taught, and he loved that fact that he could spend time with them. He says they were much beloved, which is saying he loves them, he loves all the congregation, and especially these two as well as he’s expressing this. In fact, he says, “They’re my joy and my crown.” He saw them as kind of a symbol of the success of God’s Word, that God had used Paul as an instrument to preach and to teach. And the evidence of God’s true teaching was their conversion. And so, it didn’t matter what side of the issue you were on, Paul loved them, and he expressed that love and that care and that concern, and the fact that they were symbolic of the success of the gospel because he truly loved these people. And he doesn’t only express it here in chapter 4, but throughout this letter, he talks about this.

And it’s such a reminder for all of us, that if we’re truly to be that spiritual diplomat in our congregation, we have to do the same. We have to express a love, and a care, and a concern for those that might be on different sides of the issue, that we have to care for them. I mean, how can we help? How can we help bring people together if we pick a side? If we take sides, there’s no way we can be a diplomat. We can’t be an arbitrator if we like this side better than that side. How could we be impartial? How could we bring people together? Which is in a sense a reflection of who God is. Does God take sides? Does God love one person more than another? Well, does God love me more because He’s called me now and others come late? No, God is not a respecter of persons. We’re told that many times over that God loves mankind. He loves the world so much that He gave His own son.

And so, Paul starts us off in that way that a peacemaker’s advice, a peacemaker’s counsel wouldn’t be kept in the same way if they knew you really favor them over me, that mom always liked you best. No, that wasn’t the case at all. This mutual love is what Paul expresses right from the very beginning. So Paul would be fair. Paul would certainly be one that would be able to address the issue and not take sides because of personalities, or because of people’s personalities or their character. No, he doesn’t do that.

In fact, I think that’s a reflection of what’s written over in the book of Hebrews. Now, if you want to put a little marker here in Philippians 4, or hold your place there while we turn over to Hebrews 12, take note of what it says over in Hebrews 12:14. Interesting section of scripture as we get to Hebrews 12 because here we’ve just come through chapter 11, which is the faith chapter, and it rehearses all of those great men and women who went before us, who sets such an amazing example of faith, who yet are awaiting the promise of God, awaiting eternal life.

And as Paul gets in the chapter...most likely the apostle Paul wrote this. But as he gets into chapter 12, he talks about this cloud of witnesses who have gone before us, and how much we need to follow their example. And he uses this analogy of a race, that we are in a spiritual race to the Kingdom. And as we are racing toward that Kingdom, it’s interesting what Paul emphasizes, as we run this race, notice verse 14, verse 14, he says,

Hebrews 12:14 – “Pursue peace with all people and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” And I think that’s a reflection of this idea of loving people, no matter what side of an issue they may be on. Now, we’re not talking about doctrine here, we’re talking about challenges that we face in life, challenges that a husband and a wife may face, friends may face, co-workers may face. He says, “Pursue peace with all people.” And he frames that in the metaphor of a race. Now, if you’re going to win a race, you’re going to win that race if you just kind of saunter along, just walk along, and no, people are going to pass you by. And that’s the concept of this idea of peace. It’s not something that just happens naturally. Naturally, we’re different and I’m not sure I like you that much. That’s human nature. That’s a human way of thinking.

And so Paul says that, as God’s people, peace is something we have to go after, we have to pursue it, we have to chase after it, something that we have to work at. Other translations say things like, “Make every effort to live in peace.” Live in peace with everyone. And that can certainly be a challenge. We have to go after it. So, we have to turn away from the things that aren’t godly, but what do we turn toward? We turn toward good. So, in a way, we’re told here, it’s not good enough just to get away from bad, from sin, but we have to go after what’s good. We have to pursue peace, almost a little reminiscent of the Psalms. We sing this concept many times at Sabbath services. Do you remember what Psalm 34 talks about? I know you could finish it if we start singing it. That’s the Psalm that says, “Turn thou from evil...”

[Congregation]: “Do what is good; seek peace, pursue it earnestly.”

[Mr. Steve Myers]: That’s right. Yeah, we turn from evil, we seek peace, but it’s not just seek, “Oh, I like to have peace. It would be nice to have peace, wouldn’t that just be wonderful?” No, you better go after it. You better pursue it earnestly. That’s the song we sing. Psalm 34:14 says just that, just what Hebrews 12:14 says. You have to go after it. It’s not going to happen naturally, normally. It’s going to take the power of God’s Spirit within you to go after peace because normally, people divide. Normally, people separate. It’s easy to see the differences. But when we face differences in love, with the power of God’s Spirit, we see ourselves as family, we see ourselves as brothers, we see ourselves as beloved. And that’s why Paul begins to address that situation. That means you can’t live with dissension. You can’t live with disunity that division has to be put away. So arguments and quarrels that might divide us have to be addressed.

And so no wonder Paul says, “Here’s how you start, you start out of a perspective of love.” Now, of course, he doesn’t stop there. If you head back to Philippians 4, he gives another key to being a spiritual diplomat, to really being a peacemaker. Certainly, love conquers all. And 1 Corinthians 13 is a good reminder of that. So, Paul started there. But it’s also interesting how he addresses the problem. If you notice what he says back in verse 2 of chapter 4, he says, “I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche, to be of the same mind in the Lord.”

So here, we see an equality between these two people. Paul doesn’t say, “Euodia straighten up,” and then leave it at that. You know, maybe she was the bigger part of the problem, could have been, I don’t know, we’re not told enough about it. But instead, what does he do? He implores both of them, “I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche,” both are implored. And that’s a very interesting Greek word that he uses when it’s translated, “implore.” King James says, “Beseech,” maybe that doesn’t help us out too much. What do you mean when you say that? Well, you probably would recognize the Greek word that’s used for “implore.” This is the word, parakaleo. It’s the same word that is translated the comforter or the paraklesis, the Comforter, that’s identifying God’s Spirit. So, we have a connection here that parakaleo, “I parakaleo you, Euodia. I parakaleo Syntyche.”

And so it carries that meaning of calling to your side. God’s Spirit comes alongside us to help us as we face life. Here, these two are implored to come to one another’s side, that you’ve got to address this issue, this is something that you just can’t ignore. And so he’s encouraging them, exhorting them, that word can certainly mean as well, and he can then comfort and instruct them. So, I’m instructing you to do this, which is a little bit different than... I mean, he could have said, “I command you.” I mean, he could have done that, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t use the word to command, instead, Paul pleads with them, and he encourages them to deal with the issue.

And so it shows us how as a peacemaker we need to act. We need to make sure we treat both sides equally, imploring, encouraging, exhorting both sides equally, that they need to come together. So rather than take sides, he treats both sides equally and tenderly. I think that’s an important aspect of if we’re going to be a congregation that comes together and grows spiritually, it means we can’t get into taking red side versus blue side, or mask side taking unmasked side. We can’t do those kinds of things. We’ve got to realize, we all need to be on God’s side. And so Paul shows us by treating each other equally, that’s the means by which this can happen.

In fact, a little bit later, in a letter that Paul wrote to Timothy, so if you hold your place here in Philippians 4, head over to 2 Timothy 2:24. 2 Timothy 2:24, Paul deals with the same subject with the young minister Timothy. And it’s interesting the way that he deals with it here in the second letter that Paul writes to Timothy. It’s interesting that he just got done talking about in this letter in chapter 3 about the perilous times in the end. And in chapter 3, he addresses the way people are. And if we were to take the time today to read through this, we might read through this list in chapter 3 of descriptors, of the time, of the end, and we’d say we’re there. This is how people are, this is a pretty good description of the way society is and the way people act today.

And so, as he discusses these different things, it’s interesting that just before this in chapter 2, he says, “We can’t be a part of that. That can’t be describing who we are.” So, take a look at 2:24 of 2 Timothy. And just before getting into all these descriptors of the way people are at the end times, he says this, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel.” In fact, if we were to read this in the Amplified version, look back at verse 24, again, it says, “The servant of the Lord must not participate in quarrels, but must be kind to everyone.” Amplified says, “Even-tempered, preserving peace, and he must be skilled in teaching, patient, and tolerant when wronged.”

So, you see Paul is not just writing to Timothy as a minister, he’s writing to all of us. By extension, he’s writing to every individual who is called of God, a servant of the Lord. We serve God Almighty. And as God’s servants, yes, we can’t participate in those things. And on the contrary, we have to be willing to preserve peace, actively preserve peace. And so, no wonder he says we have to be skilled, we have to be ready to be patient and tolerant as we work with the issues. And even when we’re wronged, we have to be able to step up and figure out how to solve the problems. And Paul didn’t shy away. He didn’t shy away from the fact there will be problems, even in God’s church. There are problems, imagine that.

But what’s the difference between a functioning church, or if we think of it a different way, a functioning family versus a dysfunctional family? Well, functioning families don’t have problems, right? No, they have problems. Functioning congregations have problems. Philippi had problems. The difference is the functioning family, the functioning congregation deals with those problems, the dysfunction, oh, they can’t fix it, they don’t want to fix it, or they ignore it. So, as a functioning congregation, Paul’s reminding us, this is what we need to do. We need to deal with the problems. And we need to fix those problems with God’s help. And so, no wonder he’s reminding Timothy that this needs to be taken care of. In fact, take a look at verse 25, verse 25, it says,

2 Timothy 2:25 – “In humility, correcting those who are in opposition.” Yes, sometimes a little bit of correction is necessary. So, the Amplified version says, “He must correct those who are in opposition with courtesy and gentleness in the hope that God may grant that they will repent and be led to the knowledge of the truth.”

So, God might grant them repent. You see, that tells us something important. When we can’t figure things out, when we can’t get along with each other, when there’s issues between us, that’s something you can’t ignore. That’s not something you can just put on the back shelf and just hope it’ll fix itself. No, Paul says, “You better deal with this.” This is something that has to be dealt with so that you can have unity. Because if we don’t, he says, “That’s a problem.” And if you notice the level that he puts that on, what’s required? He says, “We’ve got to change our thinking. We have to repent. We have to repent and know the truth.”

And of course, he’s reminding Timothy here as he did Philippi there is a need in God’s church. There was a need back then and there is a need today for those spiritual diplomats, those peacemakers that can bring people together. And as we do that, we use patience and tolerance. We use love and tenderness and fairness in treating those that are on different sides of an issue. And as we are impartial, the council isn’t tainted by taking sides, or having any accusation of, “Well, you’re prejudice, or you like them better, you are biased.” No. Because we treat both sides equally, it is possible to come to unity. And so, Paul reminded Timothy of that very fact that ultimately, we can come together and we can deal with the challenges and be a fully functioning church of God, be fully functioning godly children as well in God’s family. And so, there’s certainly a need today for that very kind of individual.

Now, of course, if we’re going to fulfill that, Paul talks about another aspect that back there in Philippians 4 that’s also important. Take a look at this third facet that Paul deals with in just those first opening verses of Chapter 4. Now, if you notice back in Philippians 4, if you held your place there, he certainly talked about dealing out of love with each other. He certainly said that we have to be sure that we deal with people equally and fairly and tenderly, no doubt about that. But it’s also interesting in verse 2, where he says, “I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord, to be of the same mind in the Lord.” Paul intimated that to Timothy, and it is a matter of changing your mind, changing your mind.

This is something that Paul had already talked about in this particular letter to Philippi. He had kind of set up this issue earlier in his letter. So, if you turn back a page or two to Philippians 1, notice what he says in verse 27. He says that “You must have the same mind.” And it’s not like, “Well, I got to pick the red side, or I got to pick the blue side, or I have to pick team Euodia or team Syntyche.” No, that’s not it at all. It’s the same mind in the Lord. And here in Philippians 1:27, he says,

Philippians 1:27 – “Let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ. So whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast, in one spirit, with one mind, striving together for the faith of the gospel.”

So, it’s not her faith or her faith, it’s the one true faith by the one true spirit and that one mind, that one mind, being like-minded, having a mindset of unity, having the right kind of love. And now, he uses this to implore these two ladies to come to one mind. And they had to be of one mind. It wasn’t either of their minds, it was ultimately the mind of Christ. And Paul is going to talk about that in this letter as well. So, oneness of mind, oneness of mind, that reminds us, “Well, it’s not picking sides because there really is only one side.” Who is on the Lord’s side? That’s what Joshua said, who’s on the Lord’s side? That’s the frame of mind we want. It’s not just making a peace accord. And we’ve all read about peace accords in the news, two nations come together, and they certainly come to one mind, don’t they? No, they don’t. I want this, and I want that and all it is a big compromise. And what happens? Well, peace accord breaks down because they never really get to a oneness of mind. It’s only a compromise. It’s only a compromise.

Now, we would never do that in the church, would we? Just have a peace accord, you know, have a peace arrangement. “Well, they don’t bother me and I won’t bother them.” Is that peace? Is that the oneness of mind that Paul was talking about? You know, maybe you’ve heard it said, or maybe you’ve even said it. “Well, I know I need to love them, but I don’t have to like them.” Really? Is that the oneness of mind that God’s talking about here? That can’t be. No, you actually do have to like them. You have to figure out how to like them. Love takes it to the next level, doesn’t it? And I think that emphasizes the fact this can’t just be a nice little peace agreement where we come to, you know, some sense of closure with ourselves and try to ignore the problem, because what happens? I mean, the problem resurfaces, it comes back, it’s not ever really solved.

And so, for us, we have to be of the same mind in the Lord. And so we are striving to put on that kind of thinking, that mind of Christ. And so it’s no wonder that Paul told Timothy we have to repent because that’s what repentance is all about. What’s the definition of repentance? It’s changing your mind, changing your thinking. And so we have to change from our human way of thinking and reasoning and looking at situations to looking at situations from God’s perspective and having His mind.

In fact, if you turn the page here over to chapter 2, notice verse 2, Philippians 2:2, Paul writes,

Philippians 2:2 – “Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit. But in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.” - And then he summarizes it - “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” That’s the goal, that’s the standard, that’s what we’re shooting for.

And so that’s such a reminder, we cannot be content with just having a truce with someone. That’s not going to work. That’s just the cessation of hostilities is the way they put that in the world. Now, okay, so you’re not yelling and screaming at each other, but underlying all this stuff, there’s division. That’s not what peacemaking is all about. Peacemakers go to the limit. They deal with the divisiveness of the mind, the division that’s in our mind because that’s the true cause of the problem. So not just dealing with what’s on the outside because outside can look very nice. So, yeah, we get along perfectly, but you never deal with the issue. Well, that’s what peacemakers do. They deal with the issue, and Paul’s certainly encouraging the Philippians to do just that.

Now, sometimes, that may mean, I can’t do it myself, I can’t do it myself. And Paul deals with that as well. Flip back to Philippians 4 once again. It’s interesting that in Philippians 4, after approaching the whole situation in love and tenderness and care and in an equality, he also then shows the fact that they have to be of the same mind. But that sometimes it takes a little bit more than just what two people can do. And so verse 3, he says,

Philippians 4:3 - “I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.”

So what’s Paul doing here? He’s saying we need some help. Paul’s saying, “I can’t do this. I can’t do it from where I’m at. In fact, I’m not sure I could necessarily handle the problem, but true companion, you can, you can do this.” And so here he’s seeking assistance, you might say. Paul’s not too proud to ask for help, not too proud to do that. And it’s such a reminder for all of us. If we can’t figure it out, get the help that you need. Get the help that you need from... here’s a competent, obviously a spiritual individual who can come to their assistance. He probably knew both these ladies very well. Probably an individual that was well-known in the congregation of being able to bring people together, to bring unity, and to bring peace.

In fact, it’s kind of interesting here. If you look this word up in the Greek for true companion, I think the old King James says yokefellow, my yokefellow, my true companion. That’s the translation of the Greek word, “Syzygus.” Now, that might not mean a lot to most of us, but it does seem to indicate something kind of interesting. Syzygus was actually a Greek name. So, it may very well be that in your King James or your New King translation that they translated this person’s name as a true companion. Because otherwise, Paul’s using all these other names like Euodia and Syntyche and Clement. And most likely, he’s saying, “Syzygus, you need to help these ladies. You’re one who could step up and be a peacemaker, to be able to bring people together.”

And so, Paul, in a sense, is calling this person to live up to the meaning of their name. And they had that opportunity to do just that, to help out this whole situation. And of course, as a spiritual diplomat, I’ll bet that’s exactly what he did, to step up and serve and help and try to take care of the division that was separating these individuals or the teams that were backing them up. And I think that’s important for us to realize when we have a situation that we just can’t seem to solve, we need to get the help that is necessary to be able to solve, rather than putting it on the shelf and ignoring it. You know, there are issues, we need to figure them out. If there’s issues in my marriage, I need to figure that out. Maybe I need help in order to figure that out. If there’s issues between family members, well, maybe we need help to sort these things out.

Well, don’t be too proud. You know, God gives grace to the humble. Don’t be too proud to get the help that you need. And so here, Paul is using others who have the ability, who have the means to be able to provide good counsel and good direction. And hopefully, we’ll be glad to get that help that we might need because the goal is peace. The goal is unity. And so, who cares who gets the credit for helping bring people together? It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. It’s just solving the issue is the goal. And so perhaps Syzygus was one that was a well-known counselor that could help bring people together. And that certainly is part of our calling as well. We’re called to be peacemakers, we’re called to be that kind of spiritual diplomat that can be one who brings people together.

In fact, when you think about it, if we’re going to emulate Christ, if we’re going to have the mind of Christ, maybe we need to think about one of His names. Remember, Christ was called the Prince of Peace, the Prince of Peace. In fact, He said in probably one of His most famous sermons, the one that included the beatitudes in Matthew 5, when He says, “Blessed are...” Well, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” He said that Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Yeah, they are part of the family, and that idea of takes effort. It takes effort to work through issues, but it’s such a blessing when you do. It’s such a blessing because, remember, peace is also one of the fruits of God’s Spirit, right? Galatians 5 reminds us of that. And when we recognize how important it is, we know it’s something that is absolutely necessary.

If we turn over... hold your place here in Philippians 4. Turn over to Romans 12 for a moment. Romans 12 reminds us that it is part of our calling, it is who we are as God’s people. “You know, am I my brother’s keeper or not? Do I have a responsibility to work things out when I might be the problem, or when someone has an issue with me, do I have that responsibility? And do I have that responsibility to step up when I know others are having an issue between themselves?” Well, absolutely. We know Christ talked about that, we know Paul wrote about it extensively. And here, in Romans, it’s interesting the way that the apostle Paul writes to God’s people in Rome. Romans 12:18 he says,

Romans 12:18 - “If it’s possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

And so, you look at that, and how much depends on me? Well, if I’m in an issue with you, probably 50% or so, probably is on me. Well, maybe you are more of the problem but if I’m, I got to recognize that. As much as that... now this isn’t saying I can work out every single issue of all time with anybody. But I better have that frame of mind, I better have a repentant attitude so that I am not the problem because that is dependent on me. And if I’m living peaceably with my neighbor, if I’m living peaceably with those in my family, if I’m living peaceful in my congregation, there’s a lot that depends on me. And so I better be making sure that I’m fulfilling that.

And so no wonder he says, “Don’t avenge yourself,” verse 19. Yeah, it’s not up to you to get even with someone, even if they are the bulk of the problem. Is that my responsibility? No. He says, “Give place to wrath. It’s written ‘vengeance is Mine. I will repay,’ says the Lord.” If there’s something that just can’t be worked out and you’ve done everything you possibly can, that’s dependent on you and there’s still an issue, give it into God’s hands, put it in God’s hands because it is an amazing thing. It doesn’t say become enemies. It doesn’t say, “Well, put them down and don’t ever talk to them again.” No, it doesn’t.

Look at verse 20. You might say, “Well, if we can’t work it out, they’re my enemy. What am I supposed to do?” Well, verse 20, “If your enemy’s hungry, feed him. If he’s thirsty, give him a drink.” And of course, that harkens back to Christ words, you know, “When did we see You hungry, Lord? When did we see You thirsty?” Same kind of thing. So, we feel like we’ve got some differences that we just can’t reconcile. How do I view that person? Better not be as an enemy.

He says even if you feel they’re an enemy, what do we have to do? We serve them, we care for them, we watch out for their good. He even says that will have an impact. In doing so, you will heap coals of fire on his head. At that pressure, that weight of doing good when someone has done you dirty might come back and actually stimulate change. That’s what he’s talking about here. So, he tells us, “Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” And that’s such a powerful lesson in the Bible, isn’t it? You know, it’s like that idea of going after good, going after peace, knowing it doesn’t come naturally, that you have to do something.

It’s the same thing with evil. It’s not good enough just not to sin. Yes, we know we need to put sin behind us, but we have to pursue righteousness, we have to go after righteousness. So, don’t let evil overcome you, but overcome it with doing what’s right, with doing what’s good. And so as we consider that very thing, it’s no wonder then that even the gospel itself, the good news, we think of the plan of God, God’s purpose, His plan and bringing, you know, many sons and daughters to glory being sons and daughters of God for eternity in His Kingdom, in His family, we know it’s sometimes called the gospel of peace, the gospel of peace. And we know, I mean, Paul wrote to the Ephesians, He Himself is our peace, He Himself is our peace.

And so when we are in a spiritual frame of mind, then we’re able to look at situations and problems and difficulties differently, and then we’re able to step up and help those who are in need of help. In fact, back in Philippians 4, there’s one other thing, a fifth thing you might say that we can do if we are to resolve issues, get rid of division, come to unity and be the kind of peacemaker that God’s called us to be. If you notice what Paul wrote back in Philippians 4, notice verse 3. So, he says, “I urge you, true companion,” – “I urge you, Syzygus,” – “help these women who labored with me in the gospel.” He says, “With Clement also, the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life.” And then he says, “Rejoice in the Lord always, again, I say, rejoice.” Oh, wow, how can I have joy when there’s this issue in our church? He says start working on that issue. And one way you can do that, see the good. You must see the good, isn’t that what he says? As he says to Syzygus, “Help these women who are just nagging old ladies who can’t leave each other alone.”

No, he doesn’t say that. Maybe they were, I don’t know. You know, maybe they were gossiping. I don’t know what the problem was. He could have said that. He could have said, you know, “Tell them they didn’t need to knock off all this bad talk about each other.” He could have said that. But instead, he chose to see the good. He chose to see the good because these were ladies, it says who labored. And that means to work until you are dead tired. They worked in helping to preach the gospel. So, he didn’t focus on the issue, he didn’t focus on the problem, he didn’t focus on their bad character traits. He focused on what was good.

I mean, have you ever felt that way? You know, when someone puts you down and you feel all the things, and “Yeah, okay, maybe I did do something wrong.” And all they do is harp on you and tell you all the negative things. It’s so discouraging. “You know, yeah, I am terrible. What good would it do to change? I mean, yep, you nailed it. That’s who I am.” And you just feel so discouraged, that’s hard to change. So, no wonder Paul says we must see the good if we’re to solve the issues, if we’re to come together.

And so they had labored with Paul, they had labored with Clement, they had labored with these other workers that he doesn’t mention. And what does he see? He sees...boy, he sees what he talks about in the Book of Revelation. He sees the Book of Life, their names are in the Book of Life, which is just an amazing thing that even though there’s an issue, he still is able to see the good. Because we know if you look for the negative, not that hard to find, we all have our problems and issues, and it’s easy to see those problems. But he says, “Look, there is credit. They were doing a good thing.” So, give credit when credit is due. You know, and when we do that, yeah, it will help ease the problem so that we can come to unity.

I mean, it’s easy to look at people that having problems and only see, “Yep, that’s who they are. They have those issues. And yeah, they’re terrible, and I don’t think they’ll ever fix it.” And we can have that perspective. But that’s not what Paul does. Paul says, “A true spiritual diplomat, a peacemaker, will remember the good.” Even if we’re having a problem with somebody, and I’m part of the problem, and they’re part of the problem, can I recognize the good in them? Paul says that’s a big step forward in solving the issues. And so, when we have power to recognize that at people, we need to make sure that we do.

So just in these three, four short little verses in Philippians 4, we are certainly given a means to come to unity within our family, within our church family as well, because certainly as we look out in the world, we are getting to those times where it is perilous, and there is contention, and there is constant disagreement and arguing, and it seems more and more heading that direction. If you aren’t this way of thinking, then you’re an awful individual. And so we live in this divided culture. And so, no wonder God calls us out of that culture so that we can effectively begin to be the kind of individual that will help bring people together.

And of course, if we’re going to do that, the Apostle Paul was inspired to give us these five musts so that we can be a godly peacemaker. And certainly, that starts with loving both sides. That goes on in treating both sides equally and mercifully and tenderly so that we can help them to seek the same mind. That’s an absolute must. And if we’re needed, get the help so that we must find help when there are disagreements that just can’t be resolved easily. And that we must begin to see the good and give that credit when credit is due as well.

And when we begin to do that, it will change things because we’ve changed our thinking, we’ve repented ourselves. And we change our thinking, we change our perspective, and we line ourselves up with the mind of Christ. And when we do that, we can be used as a powerful tool in God’s hands to bring relationships back together that were once broken, to help others come together, and then we can be known as a people. We can be known as a congregation who is like-minded, who has a camaraderie and a fellowship that can only come by the Spirit of God. And we can do that, and Paul urges us to and Christ urges us to promote unity, and we can promote unity by making peace.

 

[Steve Myers] You may have heard the story about an old-time deacon. He was visiting a congregation in another state, and the pastor got up and he was giving the sermon kind of started to drag just a little bit. And out of nowhere, the pastor just blurts out, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife." Yeah, they did just that the congregation was, “Oh!” They couldn't believe he was saying something like that." But pretty quickly, he said, "It was my mother." The congregation relaxed.

But the old-time deacon, he heard that he said that was pretty slick, I like that. That's a good way to get the congregation... I have to remember that when I get back and when I'm speaking sometime. So he gets back home a couple of months later, he's giving a sermonette. And he wasn't necessarily the most engaging fellow. And certainly people started nodding a little bit, and a light bulb went off. I remember what that pastor said. So he came back, he just blurted right out of nowhere. "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife." The congregation went "Oh, no!” Right, then he went totally blank. And he just looked at them, he didn't know what to say. So he just said, "And for the life of me, I can't remember her name."

Not a good way to engage the audience I don't think. Not quite the effect that he intended. Of course sometimes as speakers, we don't exactly get the things across that we'd like to, and I think it does present us with the fact that there are a whole lot of ways to serve, other than just speaking. I mean speaking is one way. But there's always a need for more servants, for individuals who will step up and serve God and serve His people. And we have those needs right here in Cincinnati.

We have many who have served for many, many years in our ordained leadership. In fact, if you've got your announcement bulletin, on the back side, there's a whole listing of our ordained leadership both the elders, our deacons, and our deaconesses as well. Because they have a huge impact on our congregation both in the morning and the afternoon. Deacons and deaconesses supply stability, they supply a positive attitude, they're servants who are pillars in the congregation. And I suppose in a way you could say they're leaders in service.

And it's certainly a reminder why Christ told us to pray for more laborers, that there would be more because they do serve a vital function. So I'm not sure if you've thought about it for a while, or maybe always wondered, what in the world do those deacons and deaconesses do anyway? I've heard about I'm not sure who they are, or where they are, what they're doing, but what is their function? What are they and what do they do? Why do we need them? And maybe what's the difference between a deacon and a deaconess and an elder? Are they all kind of the same, or are they different?

Well, there's a section of scripture that deals a lot with that. And we'll spend a lot of time in that section of scripture in Acts 6. In Acts 6, we're at the beginning of the New Testament Church. Of course, in Acts 2, the Holy Spirit was just poured out, and the New Testament church began. Now by the time we get to chapter 6, some of the growing pains of a new church begin to show.

Now you might not think that would be the case. But early on, there were problems. If you look at Acts 6:1, it tells us that the number of the disciples were multiplied. But what could be wrong with that the Church was growing? Well, do you know how big the congregation would have been by this time? We don't often necessarily think of how big was that congregation.

Well if you peek back, just a chapter, so to chapter 4, Acts 4:4, it tells us how the Church had multiplied. There were 5,000 men, just men alone, not counting the women that were baptized, as well as all the children that would have been attending. So we're talking about a huge congregation, all kinds of people there. So it's no wonder that there would have been a little bit of growing pains right at the beginning of the Church.

And so Acts 6 begins to tell us, how do you deal with the situations that we're going to face because there are so many things to do. There are so many people to serve and so many things that need to be done. And so they brought the problem to the apostles. So if you recognized verse 1, let's look at it again. "In those days, the number of the disciples was multiplying, and there arose a complaint against the Hebrews by the Hellenists, because their widows were neglected in the daily distribution."

So we've got a couple of groups of converted individuals, some that were Greek-speaking, some that were Hebrew speaking. Now, here's the issue then, because there were so many people, I think it was probably inadvertently, probably unintentionally, that some of the seniors, some of the widows who needed help weren't getting the help they needed. They helped with food and some of the necessities and for whatever reason, they were missed, probably neglected, you know, unintentionally.

And so why was this happening? And you can imagine well, it's because they don't like us because we're Greek speakers, or they don't like us because, you know, we speak Hebrew or Aramaic. And you could see how that could evolve into an issue. So they brought it to the disciples, look at verse 2, then. "The problems were brought there, and they told him the way it is, they summoned the multitude of the disciples and they said, it's not desirable that we should leave the word of God and serve tables."

So once the issue came to the apostles, it was obvious there were physical needs that needed to be met. But the apostles, the ministers, those that were preaching, and teaching, and getting the gospel spread, could not possibly begin to take care of all the physical needs that were out there. And so they were to be engrossed in Scripture, they were to pray. And as the spiritual leadership, it was their job to do the spiritual things first. So, how do you take care of the physical needs? Well, they make a proposal to the congregation.

And they come up with this idea to separate some of the responsibilities instead of them taking care of the widow's physical needs, they in a way, divide up the labor a little bit. Separating the physical labor, from the spiritual labor. And making this proposal let's notice what they said. "Brethren," verse 3, "seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business."

So the leadership decides seven ought to do it with as many as we are seven ought to be able to fulfill the need, they'd be sufficient to cover the physical works, the needs of the people. And so they're proposing this idea to organize and get together in order to be assured that nobody's neglected, nobody's left out. And so what did they do? They asked the congregation “Brethren, seek out from among you." So talking to the multitude, talking to the people, talking to the Body of Christ the congregation, seek from among you. “You go out, and you recognize individuals who are meeting these qualifications, and we'll appoint them to this service.”

And so they asked the congregation who's doing this job already? Who's filling these needs already?” You look out amongst yourselves and put forth seven individuals with these qualifications.” And there's a little short list right here that they give. And so they start by saying, "Men of good reputation." Or King James, I think says "A good rapport. Men of a good rapport." They have a good repute, in other words, they're well respected.

These individuals would be one that you look out among yourselves, and it's someone everybody trusts, everybody can trust them. This lady is one you can count on. They have good character. And we can attest to that very fact. We know that to be true. And in fact, it's interesting, this word for reputation is a word that's connected to a court case. Now you might say what does that have to do with choosing a deacon or a deaconess?

Well, the reputation side of things speaks to their witness. When you look at them, what does their life say about them? What do their actions speak when it comes to what they do? What's important to them? Just like someone that goes to a hearing at court and has to testify, you have to be able to count on what they're saying. And so this word was used, I think, to really make that point very, very clear, because you're going to believe what they have to say, this is an honest witness. This is an impartial person.

Their relationship with the pastor is not what you can count on. It's not just the pastor's best friend, and so we'll pick them. No, it wasn't that at all, that their life was the basis for who they are. And so from this word, it points to the fact that their life is a testament to who they are. And so people of good character, quality individuals of moral integrity, that's what this is pointing to. And so these would have been well thought of individuals among the congregation that were already actively serving and were servants of all. And they had a reputation for serving God and serving his people.

So the apostles say, "Men of good rapport, men of good repute," they were doing... in fact, that wasn't all. You notice another qualification here in this little short, verse 3, it says, "Full of the Holy Spirit." So these individuals should be showing the fruit of God's Spirit. And we could turn to Galatians and remind ourselves of those things but we know those godly traits we're to have. And they are to be exhibiting those things.

These individuals should be close to God. They should be submissive to His Spirit, yielded to God, dedicated to doing His will. And recognized by the congregation. They're solid, they're stable examples. They're doing God's will His way, living God's way. They're not sporadic, it's something that is their way of life. And it's evident that they're submissive to God's Spirit. And in fact, not just that, but they're also wise individuals. They're full of the Spirit and full of wisdom.

And so as the apostles told the congregation about this, you think about these 5,000, maybe 10,000 people, when you add the women, the children, no wonder they said, "They have to be wise, they have to be full of the Spirit." They have to be a testament to God's way of life because you're going to be dealing with all of these people. And you're going to have to be a competent organizer, you're going to have to fulfill the needs, the physical requirements, to help the people formulate a plan, carry it out, make it happen. These were the kind of individuals that the apostles were asking the congregation took for.

And of course, as you think about that, do you notice one thing that at least stands out to me probably does to you as well. He didn't say, pick your best friend and put their name forward, he didn't say that. He didn't say, pick the best-looking people and put them forward. It's not an election. Well, we'll see who's most popular and we'll appoint them. Yeah, it's nothing to do with any of that, this is not a democracy, this is definitely not an election.

But what's happening here? The apostles were asking, really, in a sense, they're asking God to work through the congregation, to bring forth the names of those individuals, that ultimately God wants appointed to these tasks. And in fact, when you look at this word to appoint, bring forth these names that we may appoint them over this business, over these duties, we're going to set them over these responsibilities. We're going to place them in these positions so that they can fulfill these physical needs. They're the ones that can administer these duties, they can make sure that the daily distribution gets to all. They can fulfill those duties to wait on the tables and serve the people and take care of those physical needs.

And so what happened? The congregation suggested they brought forth these names. And then what did the apostles do? They appointed so we had the congregation suggesting, the apostles appointing. Now, when you look here, they're not giving up their authority in any way, are they? In fact, as you look at this, it's pretty specific. When you see what they'll say we'll “appoint over this business; but we'll give ourselves continually to prayer and the ministry of the word.”

They're going to continue to be the spiritual authority. They're going to do the work in the sense of the spiritual aspects of the job. So they'll be preaching the gospel, they'll be preparing the people, they'll be shepherding the flock. They'll be meeting the spiritual needs that's what the ministry does. That's why the deacons and the deaconesses then could take care of those physical aspects, the physical needs that were out there.

And so as we see, this was a pleasing thing. And so when we look at what the apostles were doing, they were still the authority. They were the spiritual authority over the congregation, and they retained that right, ultimately, to make the final decision. And so bring those names forward, and we'll take a look at those names. Because we don't want to forget that the apostles in their day, pastors and elders in our day what do they do? Well, one of their tasks is to oversee the congregation.

In fact, the Bible uses that word, overseers. Pastors are overseers of the congregation, they oversee the spiritual health of the people. And so if you hold your place here, we'll come back just momentarily. Turn over to Acts 20. That particular word is actually used here to point out a little bit of a difference between a pastor and a deacon or a deaconess. So Acts 20:28. Here we see an admonition to those who are elders, those who are overseers, those who are pastors of congregations.

In Acts 20:28. In instructions to those ministers, it says "Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock,” Of course, that was their duty. That was their job to take care of the flock. It says, "among which the Holy Spirit has made you as pastors, as elders, has made you overseers." So overseers oversee the spiritual health of the congregation. And in fact, it says, "To shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.” Referring to Christ.

And so a pastor is an overseer and in a sense a shepherd, a guardian, an elder who serves the spiritual needs of the congregation. And so that's quite different then from what Acts 6 is talking about when it comes to deacons and deaconesses as well. So if you held your place, go back to Acts 6 for a moment. And let's take a look at verse 4. Again, of course, it says that the apostles as a pastor would today, would give themselves to prayer and ministry of the Word, serving the world, preaching the Word, meeting people, counseling people, bringing them to baptism as God calls it. That's the pastor's job, that's the elder's job, that's the ministry's job.

But then we see, what did the congregation do? Well, they went out among themselves. And it says, verse 5, "They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit,” okay, here's a guy that met those qualifications you were talking about. "And Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas, the proselyte of Antioch."

So they brought forth seven names. And these would have been individuals that had a level of spiritual maturity, they had to have that. They just weren't good at doing jobs and tasks. But these were individuals of spiritual maturity, that then the apostles could ordain to serve the physical needs of the local congregation. Of course, they'd still be directed by the ministry, even though it's not an office of the ministry. They're not ministers of Jesus Christ, like an elder or a pastor would be, but they'd certainly be in this position, an important position to help and serve God's people.

And so as they did this, the results, everybody's thrilled about it, “the whole multitude was pleased.” They brought the recommendations forth. And then what did the apostles do? Did they just rubber stamp it and say, "Okay, got it, great. They're the guys?" They didn't do that. Verse 6, it says they brought these names forward and “set before the apostles." “Here, are the individuals we're suggesting.” What did the apostles do? Not a rubber stamp. It says, "When they had prayed, they laid hands on them."

So they took this into consideration. They weighed the suggestions from the congregation, and prayed about it, they took it to God. They wanted God's guidance, they wanted God's input. And so they just didn't rubber stamp the whole thing. They prayed about each one of these individuals. And of course, in this case, none of them were refused. They accepted all of them and laid hands on every one of them. They laid hands on them, and they were ordained to the position of a deacon so that they could serve the physical needs.

They laid hands in front of the whole congregation. And with the congregation's input, it was obvious then, with their input and God's direction, and the praying that the apostles did that these were the men that God was putting forward. And so they were ordained and set apart. Of course, the laying on of hands is where they're set apart for special service for a specific duty. And so this was their duty then, to serve the church.

Of course, you look at the story, this is the first time this ever happened in the New Testament Church. Was this okay? Was this a good thing? Will this be acceptable before God or did they just take too much upon themselves? Well, what happened? Verse 7, "The word of God spread, and the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests were obedient to the faith."

So when we see the results, what's the fruit of the separation of labor? It's blessings, at least two ways. At least two ways we see these blessings play out, God blessed them that there was a greater power to preach the gospel. The ministry could devote their time to doing just that, to working with those that God was calling. That wasn't the only thing, what else was the result? Growth, it was growth, greater growth.

Now, why would that be? Why do you think there was greater growth because they ordained deacons to these physical tasks? I can't help but think of the body think of the congregation. You know, we have that analogy in 1 Corinthians 12, where it talks about the congregation being like the Body of Christ, and all the parts have to do their share. Sort of like the vision statement of the United Church of God. Ephesians 4:16, says very plainly when everyone does their part when everyone does their share, what happens to the body? It grows.

And so I think this is a wonderful example of how a Body, how the congregation of God should function, that as individuals we're placed into these positions of service, the Body was functioning, and people were fulfilling their roles. And so as a result, there was growth, an ability to preach the gospel, like they really weren't able to up to this time, that they could really focus on it. The ministry could focus on that very thing, and then the others could focus on the physical needs. And so when everyone does their share, we grow.

And I believe it's not just numbers, probably the most important growth is spiritual growth, that as individuals we grow as we serve, and we give, and we help each other, the Body grows. And so even today, we have this same function within the Church, that we have a ministry, overseers, pastors, elders, who serve in the spiritual aspects of the work. And then those that are deacons and deaconesses that take care of the physical side of things. There's a wonderful example of this in Romans 16 if you'd like to turn there with me.

Romans 16, now, we're a little bit later in time, still early first century, but a little farther down the line as the gospel is being spread. The apostle Paul, being that apostle to the Gentiles is out preaching and teaching, and as a result, people are being converted. And a number of individuals in Rome, come to the truth, God calls them and they become converted both Jews and Gentiles. And as we look at Romans 16, it's an interesting aspect here, that we see a special individual who had a special calling, and fulfilled that calling and special things began to happen as a result.

So as we look at what it says, here in Romans... I mean, imagine the scene, we're in Rome, this is the Roman Empire. Rome is the heart of “the Beast.” This is where Caesar is, this is where everything is happening. And yet here are godly people striving to obey, striving to do God's will. And Paul is unable to go there. And so he sends someone with a special message for the Romans, and we find out about her in chapter 16. And so Paul says, "I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea.” It's a lady, Paul sends a lady to the church, with this letter, with this letter to the Romans. Think that was an important job?

Now if we read over it really quickly, we might miss it. Okay, she's a helper, she helps out. It's kind of nice. Well, no, if we tear it apart. The word servant if we looked it up in the Greek it's pointing to her responsibilities. She's a diakonos, a diakonos, a deaconess. She's not just someone that helps out. She has a position of service. She's a diakonos, a servant. And that word can mean an attendant. It can even mean somebody that runs an errand. She was running a pretty big errand here, right. Going all the way to Rome with this letter on behalf of the apostle Paul. She's fulfilling a major function here, not just a little cast, you kind of do a couple of things that might be helpful. No, it wasn't that at all.

So here is someone, a woman in the Church, who was waiting, serving, giving, running errands for the apostle Paul, a true servant. And so we see the different aspects of what a deaconess can be. And so Paul tells them verse 2 "Receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints." This is a special lady. Says “Assist her whatever business she has need of you." But, why would you tell them that? Well, she's a deaconess, she's to serve the people, she's to help. She's going to need help getting things organized, showing you what a deaconess does, helping get the Church organized. So that she could fulfill the duties and pass those responsibilities and how you do what you do on to others.

And so help her in whatever she has need of, the business that she's had needs. Then it says "She's a helper of many and myself also." You should take some time to look up this word helper, “helper of many and of myself.” I'm not going to tell you about the word too much but it's a very, very special word. It's not just somebody that, you know, sets out the snacks once in a while. It's a powerful word here to describe this deaconess, who served God, served Paul and served the people. And she did it in a powerful way.

And so here she is caring for the needy of the Church. And of course, this word diakonos can, in this case, refer to her as a deaconess. It can refer to a deacon when it's a man, it can refer to an assistant or someone that waits on tables. Depending on the context, it can even refer to a minister, because a minister serves. So it could be a minister, it could even be a pastor, depending on the connotation, and how it's used in the context, but most often a deacon or a deaconess.

And of course, you can't help but think of even the instructions of Christ. When it comes to these individuals. Because she was a servant, she was a giver. She was one that fulfilled those qualifications that the apostles instructed the people in. And it certainly harkens back to what Christ taught, doesn't it? Remember, when the disciples were fighting over I'm better than you, and "I want to sit next to Christ. No, I want to sit next to Christ. I'll be on His right hand. No, I want to be on His right hand. You know, who's the greatest in the Kingdom?" And all those kinds of things.

What did He say? You know, I use that as a teaching opportunity. “Do you want to be great, do you want to be a part of God's family, you want to be in the Kingdom?” He talked about it. He said, "If you want to be great, let them be your servant." Let them be your servant. A diakonos, let them be an attendant, let them be one who waits on tables. Let them be one who runs errands, let them be one who's willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish the task.

And so we see these blessings play out with the apostle's decision how God blessed those things? Of course, you might think, well, where did they come up with this idea, did they just hatch it out of nowhere? No, can you remember a situation back in ancient times where something like this was done? If you go all the way back to the time of Moses, and the children of Israel, you've got millions of people coming out of Egypt. Could one guy take care of all of that? Nope.

If you turn all the way back to Deuteronomy 1, that situation is described on what ultimately had to happen in order for all the needs to be met. Could Moses possibly hear every case of "Oh, I got a problem against this guy. And he did that. And she did this." And all... he couldn't do that couldn't meet all the needs of the people. And so it's described what ultimately was decided, in verse 13. Deuteronomy 1:13. Here we see Moses rehearsing the story. He says, "How can I alone bear your problems and your burdens and your complaints? Aren't there important spiritual things that need to be done?"

What did they do? Verse 13, "Choose wise, and understanding and knowledgeable men from among your tribes, and I will make them heads over you." So here we are, in Deuteronomy 1, hearing the result, but the actual situation took place back in Exodus 18. And it wasn't even Moses that came to this. His father-in-law called him aside and said Moses, you need to do something about this. And Moses took his advice, and with God's direction, God's authority, God's blessing, he established heads over thousands and hundreds and captains. Sometimes the translation is, probably a better translation would be stewards, those that would help and care for God's people.

And of course, those individuals would still answer to Moses, Moses was the one that was guiding Israel. And so we see God bless that as well. And so when the apostles were faced with that situation in the New Testament Church, I wouldn't doubt that that situation came to mind. That “Oh, yeah, that's how Moses dealt with that, maybe we ought to do the same thing.” And of course, it wasn't just a random thing. It wasn't a random thing at Moses' time, he gave them instructions.

“Here's the kind of individuals that we need to look for.” Same thing when we fast forward to the New Testament. In fact, as the apostle Paul was passing the baton to others, he also instructed younger ministers on how this process should work. So if you turn over to 1 Timothy, it describes that process. Now we've moved on the New Testament Church has continued, now there's younger ministers, the apostle Paul, by this time is probably 60 years old.

And so we've got young ministers like Timothy and Titus, men who are probably in their 30s, or maybe even up to 40 or so. And Paul's instructing them here's what you need to look for when it comes to those who should be set apart to the office of deacon or deaconesses. So if you look at 1 Timothy 3 notice verse 8. 1 Timothy 3, we find these character traits, these qualities that the people like that Timothy was supposed to look for.

So notice what he says, verse 8, "Likewise deacons..." there's that word, diakonos. They must have… “they must be reverent." So these are people that should be respected. They should be of high character, they should be people of principle. We don't usually use that word a lot today, reverent, sounds kind of spiritual, and you know, maybe not the most appropriate kind of word. But that's what it's talking about here.

It's talking about men of good character. These are people you can rely on, you can rely on them. He says "They're not double-tongued." They don't say one thing and mean something else. They don't talk to this group and relay the story this way and talk to this other group, relay the story in a different way. What you see is what you get. They're not gossipers. They're sincere individuals. They're straight down the line. They're straightforward people. That's the kind of individuals that deacons and by extension, deaconesses should be as well.

And so he continues, he's building on that list that the apostles gave back in Acts 6. So then he says "They shouldn't be given too much wine." Literally, shouldn't be winos. They shouldn't be drunkards, they shouldn't be addicted. And I'm sure you could stretch that to any addictions, they shouldn't be addicted kind of people that know excesses. In other words, they have to be self-controlled. And that includes their finances.

And so he says, "Not greedy for money." So they don't covet what they don't have. And maybe he's also telling them, why do they do what they do? Are they in it because they want the attaboy? Are they in it because they want the pat on the back? Are they in it because they want to be noticed by the rest of the people? Are they in it for the wrong reasons? Why are they serving? Why are they doing what they do? Get down to the heart of the matter and notice, are they coveting the spotlight? Or are they really the servants that are truly serving the people?

And so he talks about the kind of individuals they are saying in verse 9, that these are the kind of individuals who “hold the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience." Now he's talking about dedication. He's talking about these individuals are dedicated to the truth of God. God said it, I believe it, there's no doubt about this. They combine this clear conscience, with this hold on the truth. They're not going to let the truth go, they're not going to compromise the truth. They're going to hang on to what's right, in complete sincerity. And in a way, they're going to hold the teachings of God as a sacred trust. That they're not going to live one way, in contrary to what they say they believe.

And so that's the kind of individual that a deacon or deaconess should be. They're holding this mystery, the mystery of the faith, this mystery of what is the purpose of man? What is God accomplishing? What is His will? What is His purpose? They're holding the truth. And they're applying it to their life. That's what these... In fact, as you go through these things, isn't that what we all want to be?

This isn't just some standard for the ministry or some standard for deacons and... don't we all want to be like this? I mean, this is our goal. We want to be people of integrity, we want to be people of the truth. We want to reflect what God's way really means to us, and what we say and what we do, whether we're by ourselves, or whether we're in the congregation. We want to be straightforward individuals that are holding God's truth as a sacred trust, and it's evident in our lives. And so as we look at these characteristics, we all can apply them to our own life. Because ultimately, that's what we're all shooting for.

And none of us fit all of these things perfectly. I mean, we're all sinners, and we fall short of the glory of God. But this is where we're heading. This is the direction we're going. And these individuals that are exhibiting these characteristics, it's interesting that, as the apostle said, "Seek from among yourselves," obviously, those are the people that were already doing those things. They've already been actively serving, they've already been waiting on the tables, they've already been running the errands, and taking care of people and serving individuals. And so as we see this list, yeah, they're accomplishing the task already.

And of course, today, that means the same thing. That prior to an ordination, these are individuals that are accomplishing these things, that have set their minds to continue to put on Christ, to be more Christ-like in their character. Because it says, verse 10, "Let these also first be tested." Let them be tested. In other words, they should be established already. We're not going to take a newbie, somebody that's just starting out, but someone that's proven. Someone that's been doing these things, and continue to do these things. So if that's why they say they got to be tested, let them serve, if there's nothing against them all right, let them serve as deacons, that's diakonos. Let them serve as deacons being found blameless.

Of course, none of us are blameless. Well, unless we're repentant before God. When we come before God, and we repent of our sins, we can be justified before Him, we can come into a right relationship with Him. Because we're changing, we're putting on Christ. And so "Let them serve," he says, "Let them serve. But make sure they're the ones that are proven." So as we take this task, we as a congregation, we have to do the same thing. We look from among ourselves, those who are fulfilling these guidelines that were spelled out by the apostles, and then by Paul as well to Timothy.

In fact, he doesn't leave off the ladies either. If you look at verse 11, it says, "Likewise, their wives, their wives must be reverent." Same, same word is in verse 8. And it seems it's not just talking about a deacon's wife. But many of the scholars feel this is actually talking specifically to the ladies, to the deaconesses rather than just their wives. Because when you get right down to it, we may have a married couple and the husband is a deacon, but the wife's not a deaconess. Or the wife might be a deaconess and the husband's not a deacon. Just works that way sometimes.

But as we look at this, this seems to be directed more specifically to the ladies and not just a deacon's wife, emphasizing the fact that she needs to be of a similar kind of character as a deaconess. So we see the word reverent, they're to be worthy of respect, good character. Also says not a slanderer. “Not a slanderer.” What does that remind you of? Okay, can't be gossiping can't be a talebearer. It's kind of scary when you think about it. If you think of a slithering slanderer. It speaks to this Greek word that's used here. Do you know what the Greek word is? A slanderer? Diabolos.

She can't be a diabolos, what's a diabolos? That's another name for Satan. Because Satan is the accuser, he is the accuser of the brethren. He's the gossiper, he's the talebearer, he's the cynical one. And so as leaders in the church, we can't have anything to do with that, can't be that way. And so Paul uses this powerful word to get that point across.

And instead of just slandering and saying whatever comes to your mind or gossiping about people, he says, 'We've got to be temperate." King James says sober, not just talking about drinking, and that sort of thing or other addictions. Being temperate in other words, being self-controlled, being in control of your life. That's really what it's about controlling your mind, controlling your attitude. And by doing that you're controlling your actions. And so an individual who is a deacon or a deaconess has to be one of self-control. They're temperate, they're circumspect about things.

And of course, then it gives the big picture faithful in all things. Faithful in all things, not just a little bit here and a little bit there. Not someone that shines brightly for a little bit and then burns out, no, someone that's in it for the long haul. Someone that's totally dedicated and going to continue to serve no matter what. And in fact, verse 12, maybe expands the picture just a little bit. It says, "Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well." So as we talk about the ones that would wait on the people and serve them, it says, "They're to be ones..." okay not to be a polygamist or anything like that. That makes sense, that's obvious. But isn't a little more to it than just that?

I think it's pointing to the fact that this is a faithful individual, they are loyal, they are loyal to their wife, they're loyal to their husband. These are individuals that are dedicated. What does that say about their relationship? Solid. This is a solid, married couple in the Church who recognize the fact it's not just about them, their marriage is a reflection of Jesus Christ and the Church. And that's the greater picture that I believe Paul is referring to here. Is their marriage, a reflection of Christ and the Church? Not just I have one wife no, be loyal.

Are they making sure they're following the Commandments, and have a marriage that is one that you recognize as solid. That they are representing God's way when it comes to the marriage relationship. And then, of course, by extension, who else is included here? The children, ruling their household. The ruling word kind of ties back to being a deacon or a deaconess that you're a good manager, your household is in order, that things are going well. And maybe even by extension, there's a sense of family here, that it's just not dad, who's the deacon and doing all the service, or it's not just mom doing all this. But the kids are involved in this too. It's a family kind of a thing. Seems like there's a little bit of responsibility, at least that's hinted at, it seems, as a part of the overall picture here.

And so as you look at that, it's pretty powerful. If you skip back to verse 11, for just a moment, the Message Version says it I think, in a unique way. Look at verse 11 in your translation, the Message says this. "There are no exceptions to be made for the women — same qualifications: serious, dependable, not sharp-tongued, not overfond of wine. Servants in the church… Servants in the church are to be committed to their spouses, attentive, attentive to their own children, and diligent… they're to be diligent in looking after their own affairs. And those who do this work and serve the church will become highly respected, and a real credit to the faith."

That's pretty powerful, isn't it? Verse 13, that's what it says "They'll obtain for themselves a good standing. A good standing and great boldness in the faith, which is in Jesus Christ." And so what do we see? Blessings, when the Body is functioning the way that God wants it to, and we're all doing our share that's what happens, we have this wonderful influence. In fact, it's good standing, that word for good standing, do you know, many times that appears in the New Testament? Once, just one time, this is it just one time.

And it's referring to that impact that a deacon and a deaconess can have. These are people of dignity. And that good standing is pointing to a powerful, wholesome influence on the people of God. And that blessing for serving in that capacity becomes a wonderful benefit for all the congregation. And so as we look at this, these are our responsibilities as the congregation of God. We are in need here in Cincinnati, we need those to fill these positions of deacons and deaconesses so that the Body can be whole and healthy and functioning the way that God wants it to.

Now, of course, as you look at these responsibilities, the office of a deacon or a deaconess is different than an elder. I mean, in recent times, we've ordained a number of elders that have come into the ministry and gone out from here to serve in the capacity of pastors. Now, that's done totally differently. When it comes to elders, you won't find an example in the New Testament that they seek from among the congregation recommendations for who should serve as pastors or elders, you won't find that in the New Testament.

That's because the eldership, the ministry of Jesus Christ, is a specific spiritual calling from God. It's a spiritual calling because they're going to be the ones that serve the spiritual needs of the Church. And so that function is discerned entirely differently. That's discerned through prayers and fasting of the eldership. Those who are already in that position, petition God. And they seek God's input and His guidance, in a way, kind of harkening back to the way that Aaron was chosen. And the priesthood was chosen who did that? It was Moses, God directed it. God directed who would be the priesthood and specifically pointed to them.

In fact, if you turn over to Titus, Titus has another list, we won't take time to go through this listing, similar traits oftentimes mentioned. But at the beginning of Titus, Titus 1, if you notice verse 5. This points to the eldership, to the ministry of Jesus Christ, and how it's offset from seeking from among yourselves. Here, the apostle Paul writes to Titus, and in a way, is showing the structure of the New Testament ministry.

And what does he tell Titus, right at the very beginning of his letter to Titus, he says in verse 5, "For this reason I left you in Crete,” why? “That you should set in order the things that are lacking, and appoint elders in every city as I commanded you." And then he goes through and lists some of the qualifications for a minister, for one who would be an overseer, one who would be a shepherd. And so what was Titus to do? Set things in order. And ordain elders, in the various congregations because in a sense, Titus is kind of like a regional pastor, you might say, one who oversees a number of congregations.

And so he had the additional responsibility of overseeing several pastors. And so the ordination of these elders was not done by recommendation from the congregation. We see many times throughout Scripture, you might write down Acts 14, it deals with how elders were appointed by the ministry itself. Same thing is repeated to Timothy, another young minister, 2 Timothy, 2 discusses that as well. So we see the ministry of Jesus Christ, those concerned with the spiritual work, are done differently.

Now, it doesn't mean that you don't obtain input, you know, that elders don't talk to other elders and gain guidance and direction and helpful input from others, that's not the case. Certainly, that would be a good thing. But it definitely is done differently than seeking out from among the multitude, from the congregation. So as we think about these things, a couple of things, I think, become very evident. When we look at the duties, the responsibilities, the jobs, especially when we transmit that to today. When we think about these things, today, a deacon, or deaconess is one of spiritual maturity.

And they've come to a position to serve, they're dedicated to serve, they are serving the physical needs of us, the local congregation. They're serving the needs, as directed by the ministry as well. Now, not being an office of the ministry, yet, it's still an important task, that really, the church wouldn't function properly without them. And so we have that responsibility as God's people to choose from among us, those who are doing these tasks. And we've been very blessed to have many who have been about their Father's business serving in these capacities today, you might not deliver a letter to Rome, that might not be one of your functions.

But you might set up the hall, you know, these chairs don't magically appear, and here they are, and there it is, and then somebody takes it down and fulfills these do... no, people have to do that. The snacks don't magically appear on the table, there are those that have to make the snacks, and bring the snacks, and serve the snacks, and clean up and take down. Those are part of the functions of physical service of a deacon or a deaconess. Those that would help organize, we talked about managing, managing well, those that organized teen activities, or young adult activities, those that help with the teen Bible studies.

Yeah, those kinds of individuals who have that gift, and that talent and that ability to help and organize and serve. I mean, what would happen if we weren't organized during our potluck? Yeah, we've experienced that when it's not the best, and we're not organized, it takes forever to get... no, we need those that have those talents to set up food, and do the takedown, and clean things up and make it happen. You know, everybody loves to have the snacks and the coffee after church. Yeah, those are the people that do those things.

And there's those that can help bring others, serve the widows, check on them, visit them, write cards to them, bring them to church, pick them up. Those are the kinds of individuals that are caring, serving those who might be fatherless, those that are in need. And whether it be mowing the lawn or dusting the house, or bringing over a meal. Those are the kinds of functions that people are doing. And we can recognize those among us. It's not just the ones that get up and speak. I mean, that can be one thing a deacon can get up and give a sermonette, maybe a split, and maybe even a sermon. But that's not the only function, that's one area not all, not all deacons even speak, doesn't have to be the case.

But they serve in other ways. Maybe they'd be ushering, or maybe they'd be taking the attendance or working on security organizing that. Taking care of those that are hurting, laughing at the pastor's jokes. Let's see what else do they do those? No, that was just the throw in there. But you get the idea. Who is it that visits those that are sick? Well, those that are deacons and deaconesses can do those things.

And so as we begin to think about these things, there are so many tasks at hand, I mean, the lectern just doesn't magically appear on stage. We have these beautiful flowers down here, that are here every week. Flowers are sent to those that are hurting, those that are in the hospital, those that have lost a loved one, that takes people to help organize all of those physical tasks. And so we do have those needs right here in Cincinnati. Now, that doesn't mean we're replacing, you know, others that have served in these functions in the past, not at all.

Even though there are some that have said, you know, I'd like to pass the baton, I'm ready to pass this responsibility on to someone else. And so we together as the body have an opportunity to choose from among ourselves. And so I'd like us all to consider our Acts 6 responsibility. Over the next few weeks, I would like you to pray about this. I'd like you to consider these things, and pray about this important responsibility, and perhaps fast about it.

Who are those among us who have been fulfilling these jobs? I pray that you would ask God and petition Him include this in your prayers, that He would make it evident to you, this is your opportunity to have God impact your thinking and put this individual, maybe a man, maybe a woman, maybe more than one man or more than one woman, as God directs you and leads you. You see because it's not a popularity contest. It's not an election.

We are solemnly asking God to guide our minds, to lead us and to direct us. And so those in the bulletin that we've got lists all of those individuals that are currently serving in those functions so that you know who are doing those jobs right now. But we are in need of even more to serve and to help. And this will be a wonderful benefit for the congregation. And of course, as we do this we'll put out a little box that you can put your recommendation form in.

And so our ushers have recommendations forms with them. So if they'd pass those things out right now, I'd really appreciate that. It's just a little slip of paper that gives you a little reminder of what your duty and your responsibility is, according to Acts 6. But I don't want you to fill it out right now I want you to think about this. Think about it, pray about it, fast about it, if you can, that would be wonderful. We'll put a box out in about two weeks where you can return these things. And that way you can make your recommendation, and how God has impacted your thinking and the names that you would like to put forward as you think of those who God desires to have in this responsibility.

Now, I realize some of you are not paper people and that's cool. If you'd rather just email them your recommendations to me, that would be fine. That would be easy, no problem. I don't plan on getting out your little piece of paper and checking your handwriting, you know, to see if you know, who said this or who submitted that. And of course, this is not an election, like in some places in our country where you vote early, and you vote often. Once is enough, so those baptized members of our Cincinnati congregation, this is part of your responsibility.

And as we think about the responsibility, we might also remember there may be situations we're not aware of, that we might put a name forward of an individual we may feel fits this responsibility. But there might be something that you're not aware of that would actually disqualify that person from serving in that office, something that maybe only the pastor might be aware of. And so it's not to negate your recommendation. But there could be those kinds of situations that could come up.

I also know of situations where an individual might say, you know, I'd rather not serve as an ordained individual. And so sometimes people have turned down the opportunity for the ordination. So that would be another thing to keep in mind. So this is to write down your recommendations as you think and you pray about that, the one or ones that you feel are being called to that. Remember those that are fulfilling these responsibilities already, those are the ones. And, of course, it's for those... and I apologize for those watching on the web. It's for those in our congregation, those of you that attend here all the time, either here in the afternoon, or the morning.

Hopefully, we know each other well enough. And if you recommend someone in the morning, that's okay. Some of the morning people recommend people in the afternoon and some switch back and forth. So that's not an issue at all. But those of you who attend here all the time regularly. If you're a guest, not for you, if you're brand new, you may not want to participate till you get to know everybody a little bit better, that's up to you in that way. And so when you consider this, we want to take those things into consideration. And make sure we're fulfilling our responsibilities in that way.

So in a couple of weeks, we'll put out that little box that you can put those in, or you could either talk to me, email me, or whatever way is most convenient. And I also realize some of you might just abstain. You might just say, "No, I'd rather not participate in that recommendation," and that's up to you. That's between you and God, and so you if you don't want to you don't have to. But I think overall we can begin to see this is the way that the early church functioned, and it serves well today as well as it did back then.

And so when you look at the very beginnings of the New Testament Church, the spiritual leadership, the ministry, the elders, would preach and teach and take care of the spiritual needs. And they needed deacons and deaconesses men and women who would be ordained to take care of those physical needs of the congregation. And so we have that opportunity among ourselves then to ask God to make His will known through us. So let's take this responsibility seriously. And let's remember what Christ said. He said, "The harvest is truly plentiful, but the laborers are few." Therefore pray, pray to the Lord of the harvest, that He will send laborers into His harvest.

[Steve Myers] I've been thinking about the words that we use. God gives us a challenge. In a way, I suppose, He throws down the gauntlet – specifically to the Ephesians – but it certainly applies to all of us today, especially as a part of the Church. As God's called people, He gives us a challenge. This particular challenge is found in Ephesians 4, verse 29. It's something I think we all would agree with. No one would say, well, I'm not quite sure about that idea. And yet, as we are challenged, it is a difficult prospect. Maybe even more difficult than getting up and trying to sing special music! This particular section of scripture – Paul writes to God's church in Ephesus, and He's writing to us as well – as He tells us in verse 29. Ephesians 4 – God inspired the apostle Paul to write:

Ephesians 4:29 – Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth.

That's a challenge, isn't it? That is a huge challenge. It doesn't say, well, it might be a nice idea if you communicated in a positive way – it doesn't say that. But, if you were to read this in other translations, some say, don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. Some even turn it around just a little bit and say, let everything you say be good and be helpful. Not just a little bit or most of what I say is helpful and good – no, it says, let no corrupt word. Let everything you say – don't let anything that's unhealthy or unwholesome, come out of you. And I think we would all agree with that. That is a wonderful standard. That is our standard. We know we should communicate in a godly way; that is best. We should be honest, we should be open, we should be forthright, we should be reasonable at all times. So not much argument there. OK, the sermon's over with, let's be done! But actually doing this, this is where it is so difficult. Because, as you step back and think about it, why is it sometimes, that even at church, it can be a place of unhealthy, maybe even dishonest – can we say dishonest – or maybe destructive communication? Is that true? I think at times, all of us can get into unhealthy modes of communicating; unhealthy ways of relating to others. Sometimes we call it fellowship, but sometimes it's not fellowship – not godly fellowship. And I think that's the challenge that God gives to us, is not to let any corrupt words come out of our mouths.

Paul was not only inspired to write to the Ephesians in this way; to a young minister he wrote a very similar thought, and that was Timothy. He wrote to Timothy in I Timothy chapter 6 verse 20. And as he's instructing Timothy, he tells him – and maybe he had this letter to the Ephesians in mind when he was writing to Timothy – because he told him something similar here in I Timothy chapter 6 verse 20. He said:

I Timothy 6:20 – ...O...Timothy! Guard what has been entrusted to your care. (NIV)

And of course, as a minister, you would think, well, that's got to be true doctrine, that's got to be faithful living, that's got to be those types of things. But it is interesting what he follows that up with. When he says guard, there's a responsibility to guard what's entrusted to you. What he goes to next is, he says:

I Timothy 6:20 – ...Turn away from godless chatter.

That's the way the NIV puts it. Godless chatter, or vain babblings – the New King James talks about –  vain babblings. In other words, things that are, well, corrupt. Things that are unwholesome, things that are not helpful. Empty discussions, or useless discussions – matters that don't really mean much. He says that's what you've got to turn away from. Turn away from that, and turn to what is good.

So, we've been given the standard. That's the standard. The standard is the standard that, well, camp was all about this year. In living more like our Heavenly Father, following the example of Jesus Christ, and ways to accomplish that, we're told, is to get rid of the things that tear us down, the things that corrupt. And I think there's two critical things that we can often become a part of – we can often fall into that are unhealthy – things that are corrupt, things that are unwholesome, that don't lead to godliness. And, yeah, they happen right here in church.

First, there's something called triangulation that we can become a part of. Triangulation – it sounds like strangulation, but it's not. But, triangulation; and if you think, what is that? It's kind of like the word implies, a triangle. A triangle – it's got three sides. We all know what a triangle looks like. When it comes to communicating, triangulation means something that should be a two-party discussion, becomes a three-party discussion. Where there should be two people dialoguing and dealing with an issue, a third party is brought in. Well, I'm not able to talk to them about this problem, so I'm going to talk to somebody else about it. And so I can maybe think I help with the situation, maybe alleviate a little bit of the tension, get something off my mind. Well, maybe I actually complain or I whine or I vent to this third person, because, you know, they'll probably understand. They'll understand me. And of course, probably part of the goal is, I'd like them to understand me, because you know, this other person that I have the problem with, they are the problem, it's not me! And so, when we don't resolve things between the person we have a disagreement with – the person we may have an issue with – sometimes we bring in another person. And that's called triangulation.

Why do we have that inclination to share something that should be with one other person? Why do we complain to somebody else about it? Do we really think that's going to help? Well, why do we do that? I want them to agree with me. I want support. And if I can tell you about my problem with them, you'll probably agree with me, especially the way I tell the story, right? You're going to agree with me. Of course you're going to see that they are the problem, they're the issue. And see, instead of going to the person that I have the issue with, or the person that I might just have a misunderstanding with, or I just have a difference of opinion with – instead of going to them and discussing it – I'm going to talk to you, because you're a nice person, and you'll see it from my perspective. That ever happen? Well, if my wife and I have a disagreement – which never of course, happens! After all these years of marriage, never happens, right? So I have a disagreement with my wife; I can't talk to her about it. I mean, she's the problem! So I'm going to talk to my best friend, and of course, my best friend – he's going to agree with me.

And, by bringing him into the conversation – not with her, with him – we're having a conversation about the problem with my wife; I've triangulated the issue. I've brought this third party – now this conflict isn't just an issue between my wife and I – I brought him into the situation. And of course, he's going to agree with me, leaving somebody out. Who's the odd man out in a situation like that? Well, it's my wife, because my best friend and I – we agree totally. And so, obviously, she would be the odd man out. Or, how about that Howard. Howard decides, I'm going deer hunting. His wife isn't too happy about that. She was sure he was going to take her to the mall and go shopping – for shoes. Instead of going to Howard and saying, listen, we had plans. What do you mean, you're going deer hunting? She calls up her girlfriends and says, you know, that Howard – my husband – he decided to forget the plans we had and now he's gone deer hunting. Well, what is her friend supposed to say? Yeah, you're right, that Howard, he is a jerk. I can't believe that he did that. I can fully understand why you would be so irritated with him. Why would he do that? And so, the issue was triangulated, and Howard is on the outs.

How easily that can happen. Can you think of any Biblical examples that maybe come to mind when it comes to triangulation? You don't have to go very far. You can go right to the very beginning. If you go to Genesis chapter 3, we have an example of triangulation right from the very start. Now, it's not between Howard and his wife, but it is an interesting situation how triangulation can fall right into some people's hands – o get somebody to agree with you – by leaving out the other party. And right from the very beginning in Genesis chapter 3, we are back in the garden. God and Eve had a relationship. God was the Creator; He created Adam and Eve. He told them how to live, He told them what was best. He taught them the best way to live – the best choices to make – but there was an issue. We have a little triangulation going on. Look at the beginning of chapter 3, it says:

Genesis 3:1 – ...the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And He said to the woman...God is a great Guy, isn't He? Oh, wait, it doesn't say that. He says...Has God indeed said, You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

You know, what's the deal with God telling you you shouldn't eat of that one tree? 'Cause, Eve said, well no, we're not really supposed to. We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden, but the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God said we should not eat it, nor shall we touch it, lest you die. And so, we have a classic triangulation between Eve and God, by Satan the devil. And Satan says, ah come on, God isn't treating you fairly – are you sure? You're not going to really die. And so, who becomes the odd man out here? Well, God becomes the odd man out. He says to her in verse 5:

Genesis 3:5 – ...God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.

And so, sure enough, we begin to see that wedge that's put between Eve and God. Now of course, Eve should have went right to the party. Eve should have went right to God and said, God, I, you know, this guy's telling me one thing – can You help me out here? But she buys into the story. And, it doesn't really deal with the issue; and that's the problem with the triangle. That's the problem in our life when we don't address the real issue. When we don't really try to solve the real problem or the tension or the issue. It becomes a problem in relationships, doesn't it? It sure became a problem with the relationship between God and Eve. It was already a problem with Satan and God, for sure – no doubt about that.

But when you bring a third person into it, can it help but affect that person's relationship with the one that you have the issue with? You know, what's my best friend going to think of my wife? – going to think better of her because I just explained all the problems that I have with her to him? That's not going to help. And that becomes a major problem, especially when we have a need to express those things to someone that really may not be able to help at all; and unfortunately, it not only happens in the church, it happens in our families. It happens within our families. What if a father complains to his son about –  you know your Mom, you've probably seen it – you know, she's got a problem with her temper. Your Mom has a problem with her temper and, you know, she's just not that good a person sometimes. What is that going to do – you've got this triangulation – now we've brought the son into this. What's Johnnie supposed to do? Yeah Dad, I've seen it. I've seen Mom's temper. You're right, she does have a problem. Well, does that help build a relationship between Johnnie and Mom? Of course not. Now we've built a wall – Mom and son – that relationship can't help but be affected for the worse. I mean, if a Mom were to confide in her child about a problem with her marriage, is that somehow going to help the situation? If Dad takes sides against Mom because we're disciplining the children, and defends the child, is that going to help with their relationship? And we have this tendency to triangulate, and it never solves the real problem.

And it can happen in the church as well, can't it? I don't know what's going on here, but it seems like we're getting pretty lax. I don't know how they could allow that to go on. It seems to me that something ought to be done. And you go and you share that with someone else? Well, of course, that sure sounds like something ought to be done. What I see is a problem. But is that addressing the real issue? It doesn't at all. You've just agreed with somebody that there's a problem that you don't even know if there really is a problem about. Are you kidding? How about going to the source that could actually answer that question before it becomes a triangulation? You see, that becomes a major issue. It sure looks that way. Well, you know, looks can be deceiving. It may not be that way at all.

It sure wasn't the way that Satan painted it was it? But, boy, he painted a picture for Eve and she bought into the whole thing, hook, line and sinker. And it can happen, and sometimes we can use other people for our weapons, right? We can use some other people. Yeah, I don't know what Mr. Myers was thinking, having another social – can you believe this? Yeah, I was talking to Mr. Metzel, and he agrees with me. He thinks that there's just not, there's just too many of these things going on. Now I'm not saying that happened, of course, it didn't. Of course, Mr. Metzel would always agree with me! No, but the point is, well, the president thinks this, and suddenly, because they're on my side, it bolsters my argument, and we then, not necessarily use the minister or the president, but we use somebody else as our clout to get people on our side, to win the argument. To show that somehow we're better, or we're thinking appropriately, rather than really dealing with the issue and the people that might be involved.

I mean, there's a classic example back in 2 Samuel. In 2 Samuel chapter 15 – probably one of the best examples in the Bible when it comes to triangulation. And, it involves the king's son. David is king –  king over all of Israel. He had a lot of problems, no doubt. One of the problems he had was with his family. And, as it comes down to this section of II Samuel, the problem is with his son, Absalom. Absalom, of course, is a talented young man, you know, he is the Arnold Schwarzenegger of the day. He's the – I can't think of the latest guy – but you know, you saw his picture at the grocery store on that magazine, whatever his name is, right? I don't know, somebody help me out here. These old people aren't going to help me out! The problem is Absalom, and the way he handles this problem; because you know, he's next in line. He should be king. You know, I'm the one who should be taking charge, and he obviously feels that way. But look at how he manipulates the situation, as he gets back to Jerusalem. In 2 Samuel chapter 15 – the way he handles the situation – verse 1 it says:

2 Samuel 15:1 – After this it happened that Absalom provided himself with chariots and horses, and fifty men to run before him...hey, I'm looking like a king. Look at this crowd, look at my entourage that I have with me, I should be king...Vs. 2 – Now Absalom would rise early and stand beside the way to the gate. So it was, whenever anyone who had a lawsuit came to the king for a decision, that Absalom would call to him and say, What city are you from? And he would say, Your servant is from such and such a tribe of Israel...Well, what would Absalom do once he heard where they were from? Vs. 3 – ...Absalom would say, Look, your case is good...you've got a good cause going for you – and of course, standing at the gate, first one to get to see – what would he say to them? You know, you've got a great case, it's too bad you're going to have to stand at the end of the line. You know, it's too bad there isn't anybody here to really expedite your case; anybody that would really stand with you that, you know, could get you an audience, maybe a little quicker before the king. I mean, you could imagine the story that would have been behind the story. Verse 4 says:

2 Samuel 15:4 – Moreover Absalom would say, Oh, that I were made judge in the land, and everyone who has any suit or cause would come to me; then I would give him justice.

You see, David's the problem isn't he? The king is the problem. So here Absalom has forced himself into the situation, formed a triangle, and who's the odd man out? It's the king. Boy, he could only judge some things, but you know, he's got a lot on his mind, he can't do it, but if I were the judge, you would get a fair hearing. And, you've got a great case. So, what's the results then? How does David look? He looks like the one at fault. He looks like the evil one. And so, we have this triangulation that goes on. And of course, he continued to do that, so in verse 5 it says:

2 Samuel 15:5 – And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him. Vs. 6 – In this manner Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment...So he inserted himself into the situation and, ultimately, the king was odd man out. So it says at the end of verse 6 – ...Absalom stole the hearts of men of Israel.

Because of deceit – because he forced himself in – because he got other people to agree with him. Because he made David look like the bad guy. And it was his own father. – it was his own father. And so, we see the emptiness in all of this, I mean, you read the whole rest of the story – all it did is lead to destruction for Absalom – even for David – the problems that were all involved in this horrible situation.

And the reason I focus in on that – I think we can understand probably from all of those perspectives – you know, have you ever been the person that was kind of the brunt of that triangulation? You probably have been. We've probably done it ourselves. And maybe we were the one they had the problem with. We've probably been at all points of that triangle, and can understand really, the deceitfulness in all of it. God says this is corrupt communication. He tells us, this is the kind of thing we have to root out of our behavior; it's not acceptable.

And so, if we're going to get rid of this, how do we begin to deal with it; how can I get rid of this kind of communicating in my life? Well, I think the first thing, we've got to recognize it, don't we? We've got to see it for what it is. And, it's not really that hard to recognize whether or not I'm doing it. You know, if I were to bring somebody else into the situation – we could ask ourselves a couple of questions, I think, to determine if this is something that's – I'm trying to be helpful, or I'm actually triangulating an issue? We could ask ourselves, would I say the same things to the person I have the problem with that I'm going to tell this person? Would I tell them, would I say the same things if I were talking to them directly, or would I modify the things I'm about to say? Would I really be that open? Would I be direct? Do I tell the same story to both people? Do I tell the same truth – if you want to put it that way – do I tell the same truth to both parties? I mean, that would definitely give us an idea of our definition of openness; our intent to really solve the problem.

How about just getting pulled into a situation like that? If I feel like I'm getting pulled in, they're triangulating me, they're telling me their story. I didn't ask to have them tell me this – here it is – they just poured it out. Now what do I do? I don't want to be brought into this, but there I am – what can I do? James gives us some instruction when it comes to not only recognizing the problem, but if I'm being pulled into a situation that I really don't want to be a part of this – really shouldn't be a part of – what can I do? If I recognize, all right, I'm being used in somebody's favor – wait a second – what can I do? I think James does discuss this. If you look at James chapter 5, verse 19. James 5:19 talks about some difficult Christianity here; some challenges for each and every one of us, I think. James addresses the issue, and I think we'll see how it ties in here. In verse 19 it says:

James 5:19 – Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth...and I think, is it fair to say that if I act like that – if I bring other people into a situation that shouldn't be involved in that situation, and I don't deal with an issue with someone else, but I'm trying to get other people on my side – is that wandering from the truth? I think we could probably agree that it probably is. So, if someone's wandering from the truth, it says...and someone turns him back...it says. Vs. 20 – let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.

What, do we want all that out in the open, or is it better left unsaid? Is it better to help someone deal with an issue rather than be a cohort? Rather than be an accomplice? Rather than being brought into a situation? Now, this is tough! This is really hard to do. I mean, we've got to be at the top of our spiritual game when these situations are confronting us, because I think it's easy to sympathize with people, isn't it? I mean, obviously, my wife's got problems. Anybody would agree with me – wouldn't they sympathize with the problem that I have – you know, it's her fault; well, yeah, I've seen that. It's easy to sympathize, but that doesn't necessarily help, especially when we're putting a wedge between solving the real issue. We're really putting a wedge between people taking responsibility for their actions. And God said that's not acceptable. You know, if I know I'm upset and I don't know what to do about it, I've got to go to the right person in order to sort it out. I can't bring others into it.

And so, can we help people take responsibility for the issue? If someone just pours it out on us – it's like well, wait a second –  how are we going to react? Are we going to say, yeah, you're right, that Herman, he is a jerk. Well, no, that's not right. Can we send them in the right direction? Can we say, well, have you talked to them? Have you worked out the real situation? Can we do that without involving a third party? Yeah, I think we can. There's some pretty straightforward examples in the Bible of that. There's one in the book of Galatians, and actually, it's between two bigwigs. It's between two apostles. Talk about an issue at the top echelons of the church, here it is – Galatians 2:11. There was this issue between Peter and Paul. Peter would do some things in public; he would do other things in private. Paul, the apostle, became aware of it. And so, what did Paul do? Well, I should go talk to James about this, because boy, that Peter, he's not acting/I'm going to tell James all about it; in fact, maybe I'll tell John about it. I'll tell John what Peter's doing, and that will take care of Peter. Everybody will be on my side, and obviously, they'll agree with me how foolish Peter is being, right? I can get these other apostles to agree with me and that will show him. That will show him how foolish he's being. No, he didn't do that. He didn't triangulate the issue. Galatians chapter 2:11, when it came to acting one way in public and another way in private, and the opportunity came, Paul addressed it directly. He didn't go to any third parties. It says here in verse 11:

Galatians 2:11 – When Peter came to Antioch... I opposed, or... I withstood him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. (NIV)

That doesn't mean he took a 2-by-4 and beat him over the head with it and said, what's wrong with you, you wacko. Yeah, that's not/when he says he withstood him, he resisted this behavior – that this was unacceptable – and he went right to the source. He didn't go to James or John, or any of the other apostles. He didn't take it to the deacons or the other elder; he went right to the issue itself. He didn't triangulate somebody else in as a third person just to agree with him. He went to the source of the problem.

And when we're brought into a situation, can we do that? Can we say, you need to go and talk to them. You need to go and work that out with them. We don't have to just sympathize, that's not going to really help the issue. We don't have to avoid it – you know, is that too harsh a thing to say, hey, you need to work that out? I don't think so. I think it's the Christian thing to do. We can't avoid the differences, cause there's going to be differences. There's going to be disagreements, there's going to be issues, but do we really take the bull by the horns and go to the right person, rather than just bringing others into it, or being brought into it ourselves? Obviously, we can't do that. If we're going to strive for the level of the standard that we're told – we should be letting no corrupt communication – when we're rising to that level. Well, we need to root that out.

And I think it also brings in another aspect of this that, I think it's related – a little bit different, but it is related. And as I think about how we communicate, it did remind me of this story I heard about three preachers that went out fishing. They went out fishing, and one of them decided he was going to share some of his shortcomings with the others. He said, well, you know guys, I've got to admit, sometimes I've got a little bit of a problem with alcohol. You know, sometimes I have a tendency just to drink a little bit too much. One of the other fellows kind of caught on – he said, you know, I've got problems too. He said, you know, I have a difficult time – sometimes I just can't keep my eyes to myself, and they wander, and it's not good. You know, I definitely have a problem with that sometimes. Well, the third guy caught on pretty quick, and they both looked at him and they said, well, you know, what's your issue? And he said, you know, I've got a problem with gossip, and I can't wait to get back to shore!

Gossip is a problem, I think, that is related to this issue of triangulation. I don't think there's anything in it that we'd say, yeah that's a good thing, we ought to be doing that. I know we've heard stories and messages and sermonettes and sermons about it, and I think we would all agree – it's a bad thing. It destroys reputations, it ruins relationships, it divides families, it divides people. It comes between people, it builds wedges and walls, and gossip is one of those things. It is a destructive habit that we can find ourselves in, and something that we do have to root out. I mean, there's such an amazing lesson that James draws throughout much of the book of James. We're probably very familiar with it. I think one of the most stark things that James says (you can just write down James 1:26) in that section it says, if you think you're religious and you don't control the things that you say, you don't bridle your tongue – it's a scary thing, he says. He says, your religion is vain. Your religion is useless, if you don't do that. And so it is a serious thing. What is beneficial about something that is so hurtful for those that become involved, or those that are even talked about – sharing information that we shouldn't share – it can be hurtful. And sometimes, it's not hurtful.

Gossip doesn't have to be lies. Gossip could be the truth; yeah, that it really is that way. That I really did get in an argument with my wife, and they're telling the truth, but is that helpful? Is that helpful? In Hebrew, sometimes it's called, lorshon hora, which means literally, an evil tongue. An evil tongue. And it's interesting that when the Jews apply that, they apply it not to just to the one that's doing the talking, but they also apply it to the one that's doing the listening as well; that it involves both parties. The evil tongue – listening to it as well as talking about it. In fact, we sing a section of scripture in the Psalms that deals with this. You know the song –  Turn Thou from Evil – we sing it a lot. That's from Psalm 34. If you want to turn over to Psalm 34. It's interesting what other aspects of turning from evil implies. And in Psalm 34, it reminds us of this, because we find that section of the song that we sing in verse 14 of Psalm 34. Verse 14: It says:

Psalm 34:14 – Depart from evil and do good...yeah, that's it, turn thou from evil, do what is good, right?...Seek peace and pursue it...well, earnestly is not there in my Bible, but that's the intent there, right? Seek peace, pursue it earnestly. That's what we're to do. Vs. 15 – The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous...but right before that, look at verse 13. Verse 13 says – Keep your tongue from evil. And your lips from speaking deceit.

You see, if we're to turn from evil, we've got to do good. It's not gossiping, it's not triangulation. We've got to do what's right. Does it help to share information with people that/what does that do when we do that? So we share some juicy tidbits with somebody. Does that help them to trust us more? Or would they say, huh, I wonder what they say about me when I'm not around? What are they thinking? It is such a dreadful thing when we begin to allow ourselves to get into those situations. And God says so much about it – you could do a study on it – you know the passages. So many of the proverbs deal with how we talk. You know, don't allow a tale-bearer, never gossip. Those things come up over and over and over again. Even at the very beginning – it comes to mind – the beginning of the book to Romans/the letter to the Romans. Paul addresses all kinds of different things, and one of those things he talks about are whisperers; those that are gossips, those that are backbiters. He goes through a whole list of things, talking about the difficulty and really the treachery of what gossip brings.

So rather than just focus on – OK, it's a problem – I think we can agree it is; it's an issue. Now what do I do about it? Is there anything that I can do? Well, what do I do when someone gossips to me? I'm not the gossiper, but before I can say – whoa, wait a second – there it is, they just told me. What do we do? I think one thing we can take to heart is what's opposite of gossip. You know, opposite of gossip-it, right? If we want to do what's opposite of gossiping, we've got to repeat what's good – what's good. If only what is good comes out of us, then we're not going to be caught up in gossip. There's that section – I mentioned Romans, I think it's also in Romans – where it talks about let love be without hypocrisy. Remember that section of scripture? I think it says we're supposed to abhor what's evil, and not just abhorring what's evil, but it also says, cling to what's good. Cling to what's good.

So, do we cling to what's good instead of telling people – gossiping about them and others – do we repeat what's good and what's helpful? Maybe we can think about an example of that for a moment. Let's say we're at work, and Herman always talks bad about Mary – everything he says. So you're there at the water cooler one day and Herman says, you know, that Mary, she is the laziest woman I think I've ever seen. Alright, it's out before you even got a chance to say, I don't want to hear it. Now, what do you do? Yeah, you're right, she's… no, we can't do that. Not supposed to do that. Is it possible to even turn something like that around? Could you say something like, well, you've got to admit, she's pretty talented, wouldn't you say? Well, yeah I guess, you know, what's Herman going to say? I mean, if she is, if that's true, if that is good and that's right, he probably couldn't help but admit it. Ah, yeah, yeah, I still think she's pretty lazy, he might say. Yeah, but I guess you're right, she's kind of talented.

Alright, later you see Mary at the water cooler. You should have heard what Herman said about you. He thinks you are the laziest person. OK, I can't gossip. That's unacceptable. Can I cling to what is good? OK, what did Herman say? Well, I asked him if he thought she was talented, and he said, yeah. So can I say to Mary, I was talking to Herman and he mentioned he thought you were talented. Well, what's Mary going to say? Wow, never liked that guy. I always thought he was kind of a, you know, a terrible kind of a person. But, he thinks that? Yeah, I really think he's kind of slovenly, I don't think he's much of a help around here at all. Alright, now she's saying bad stuff about him! Now what do you do? Well, can we get them to start thinking? Is it possible to do something like that? Is it possible to say, well, you know, don't you think that Herman's a hard worker? Yeah, I guess he is. He seems to be always putting in extra time around here. I don't really like him, but he does seem to be a hard worker. Maybe something like that would be said by Mary.

Alright, you see Herman later. What are you going to tell him? Aaah, Mary still doesn't like you – you know, I can't say that. But, can I say, aaah, I was just talking to Herman and you know, he says he thinks you're a hard worker, or he thinks you're a hard worker. And, see what it does, is it sets up a positive thing, rather than emphasizing the negative. When Herman and Mary see each other the next time, is it automatically going to go negative? I don't think so. I mean, I think it may sound a little bit silly, but wouldn't it help the two of them put things in a different light – maybe see their relationship from a little bit different perspective? I think it can. I think it can make a difference. I mean, it might sound kind of hokey, but I don't think it is.

I think when we start to see the positive, and when we start to be the facilitator – the one who would see things on the right side, to see things from a more Godly perspective – when we emphasize those positive things, when we're the one that emphasizes peace between people, when we emphasize things that are good, when we emphasize those things that are helpful – what will the result be? It's got to be better. It's got to be better. Does that then help us, like the Proverbs say, cover a transgression? Cover a multitude of sins? I think it does. I think it does, and the Proverbs say a lot about that. You repeat a matter, you separate friends. You repeat gossip, you repeat the negative, boy, you're tearing apart relationships. If you do what's good, you cover that transgression, you seek love. That's what (Proverbs 17) talks about. You could read that later. It is an amazing thing.

And so, can we be a promoter of what's good and what's right? That's what Christ expects of us, doesn't He? Blessed are the peacemakers, right? The peacemakers are blessed. That's what one of the things He said in that whole section of the Beatitudes. That's what we should repeat. That's what we should focus on. And would that then, have an impact that others could begin to be more focused on what's good? So I think that's certainly what we can do. We can repeat only the good.

Now, there's other things I think we can do as well. I mean, if we are being gossiped to, I think we've got to – well, maybe that's it – maybe we've got to hold up our hand and distance ourselves from this, right? I've got to distance – how open am I to hearing those stories? How willing a listener am I? In Ecclesiastes, if you're still here – I guess we're in the Psalms – if we flip over to Ecclesiastes, past Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes, there's a section in chapter 7 verse 21, I think that gives us another way to deal with this situation. You know, if I'm the one that seems to always have people telling me this stuff –  what am I, open to this? I've got to distance myself from this. And Ecclesiastes addresses this. In chapter 7, if you look at verse 21. The New King James says:

Ecclesiastes 7:21 – Also do not take to heart everything people say, Lest you hear your servant cursing you. Vs. 22 – For many times, also, your own heart has known That even you have cursed others.

In a way, what this is telling us is, don't listen. You shouldn't be listening to those. Don't take heart. In other words, I mean – if you looked it up in maybe some of the more modern translations – don't listen to everything people are telling you. Don't get brought into that. You know, he says, because you know what? Pretty soon they're going to be insulting you. You know, what are they saying about me? And that's basically what Ecclesiastes is getting there.

If we find that people are coming to us with the latest, greatest juiciest little nuggets that aren't really truth, it might be a good thing to ask ourselves, why are they coming to me? Why are they talking to me? You know, am I inviting that? Am I openly inviting people to share their rumors, their gossip, their talk? Maybe am I being a willing participant? See, we can't be. We can't be. I think there are things we can do to respond to that. If we find that we're being drawn into these things, and someone says, well, you know, that Mary, she's just – uh, you know how she is – she's just, what do we say? Do we ever say, wait, that doesn't sound like them? That's not the person I know them to be. Do we ever stop them in their tracks? I mean, is that un-Christian to do that? To say, whoa, wait a second, that's not how I perceive them? I don't see them that way. I, you know, I can't imagine them doing that. Can we stick up for that person? Can we be a peacemaker in that way? And maybe if it isn't that, can we say, well, wait, I'm not sure they'd want us to be talking about them in that way.

Is that too hard? It's hard to do it. It's really hard to do it. It's not an easy thing. And that means I've got to be on my toes and be ready for it. If it just is going to catch me off guard, and I haven't thought it through ahead of time? I mean, you know sometimes, oh, oh, here they come. I better be careful. Wait, I don't think it's good, you know, is this a good way to talk? Can we say that type of thing? You know, I don't know if they'd appreciate it if we were talking about it that way. Maybe you should go and talk to them, you know. I think if we can deal with those kinds of things directly, it helps alleviate the problem. I know I sure wouldn't want anybody talking about me that way. Even if we said that. Would you want somebody talking about you in that way? I mean, the response, what else could you – no, I don't want anybody talking that way about me! And so, we can begin to help solve the problem when we distance ourselves from it. And we stand up for other people. We stand up for them. We see the positive side of things.

And then, of course, the other part is if I'm the one that has that challenge; that I'm the one that's tempted to talk, I'm the one that's tempted – yeah, I might even convince myself, well, this is good information, this isn't bad. Wait a second, is it yours to give? Is it your information to share with someone? Well, I know Susy's planning a – this is totally a, no names attached to this; I haven't heard this, but I'm just using it as an example – Susy's giving a shower for Josie, and did you hear that it's going to be over here, and over there, and this is what's going to happen, and they're planning these? Wait a second, that's not bad information, but is it yours to give? You just stole a blessing from those who are planning it and organizing it, from announcing it! That's not right! That's not your information to share. You can't be doing that. You can't yield to that temptation. I know something that somebody else doesn't know, so I'm going to share with everyone – that is not your right! In fact, what we do, is we hurt others, even if the information might be good, or it might be happy news. Is it really yours to share? We have to be really careful and make sure that it is. I know we can all be, we can all be tempted to do that. We can all be tempted to, you know, share information that we shouldn't share. And maybe if we step back and we just think to ourselves, is this information going to tear down anyone? Is this information going to take a blessing from someone else? Is this information going to build somebody up? Is it really going to be helpful?

And, I think if we begin to filter the way we communicate, it's going to short-circuit this kind of gossip, this kind of triangulation, that can happen as well. Is there really a good reason for me to say this, or to talk to this person this way? Why do I want to share this information? Maybe I need to make sure what I'm saying is true before I say it, otherwise it can become rumor or gossip. And maybe we can even say, would I be embarrassed if they knew what I was saying about them? Would I be ashamed of what I've just said about them if they were standing right here? And would that help filter the information that we share with others; the way that we relate with others? I think it really would. I think those are some practical things that we could do to make sure we're striving to that level of not allowing any, not any corrupt communication come out of us.

And it is a struggle, because humanly, boy, it's easy to see the negative – it's so easy. I'm drawn to it, I see it right away. I see it in myself, which I don't want to admit, but I sure can see it in others as well, and it makes it so clear. And so, I'm sure other people see it. Shouldn't I share that with them? Well, no, I shouldn't. No I shouldn't. And if we can begin to filter things, I think it's going to be a whole different ballgame then, on the other end, of what comes out.

In fact, someone once told me – it may be a familiar story to you – but it's a story of the two pockets. And you've perhaps heard of it, uh, everybody puts on a pair of pants. You've got your two pockets in your pants. Unfortunately, one has a hole in it. One pocket is totally tore out; the other one is fine. In fact, I have a pair of jeans like that. I put my phone in that pocket, it ends up down by my socks. Maybe you've got a pair of pants like that. But, the idea behind this – I think it's an object lesson – for all of us. If you could imagine having two pockets like that. One with a gigantic hole in it; the other is just fine. What do you do when someone says something hurtful? Well, our brains have a tendency to record that, don't they? You might even think of writing it down. Take that thing and put it in your pocket; but which pocket are you going to put it in? Yeah, you'll put it in the pocket with the hole in it. Someone says something hurtful, someone says a cutting remark, someone says something that might be rumor. Someone says anything that might be rumor, put it in that pocket with the hole in it. And if they say something that's nice, something that's true, something that's helpful – yeah, make sure and record that one and stick it in your pocket that doesn't have the hole. Now, you go through a whole day of activities; there's been a lot of things that have been said throughout that day – probably a lot of things went into both pockets – either or, right? Well, at the end of the day, it's probably time to throw those pants into the wash – and if you take my mother's advice; always go through your pockets before you throw something in the laundry – what happens? Well, you dig in that one pocket where everything that was evil and bad and cutting and insulting – what are you going to find there? Well, it will be like my cell phone, it will be on the ground somewhere; you lost it during the day – it's gone, it's not there! You stick your hand into that pocket and there's nothing there. You put your hand in the other pocket, and out comes all those things that are right and good and helpful and true. And, it frames our thinking, because all too often, what I find myself doing – I write down those things that aren't so helpful and I put them in the wrong pocket. And when I turn that pocket inside out, there it is again, all the things that aren't helpful and all the things that aren't so good. But see, we've got to get our pockets sorted out, don't we? We've got to make sure we're emptying that pocket of the difficult things throughout the whole day; that they are gone. They're just not to be found.

We know Paul told us to do that very thing, didn't he? God inspired him to tell us to think that way, to make sure we put things in the right pocket; that when the things are true, we put them in that good pocket to remember. When things are honest – yeah, whatever, that whatsoever that is – we know he told the (Philippians in chapter 4 ) – that's what we do – the things that are pure, go in that pocket that doesn't have a hole in it. The things that are of a good report, that's where it's going. I'm going to remember that. The things that are virtuous, the things that are praiseworthy, I'm going to remember those things. And all the other things – I can't think about them anymore, because I've forgot them already, they're gone. They're not dwelling in my mind. And so, that's our response. That starts to reframe the way that we think, which is going to reframe the way that we talk, and the way that we communicate. And so, we can do that. We can do that. In fact, I think it's a Yiddish proverb that talks about that very thing. In fact, it puts it in the framework of friends. It says, there's three kinds of friends that are like food; fiends are like food – three kinds. There's a friend that you can't live without, right? There's food you just can't live without. It says, there are some friends like medicine. Aah, sometimes you might need it occasionally. But then, some friends are like an illness. You don't ever want those, right?

And we've got to think about those kinds of things in our thinking. There are things that we just don't want to go that way. And we want to eliminate those things and make sure they go in that pocket with the hole in it. And through God's spirit, it can happen. It can happen. We don't have to triangulate. We don't have to be on any end of that triangle, because when there's an issue, we're going to be dedicated to solving that issue, and go to the person that really can make it different. When it comes to gossip, we can do the opposite. We can share what is good and repeat only what's helpful. We can distance ourselves from it, and we don't have to yield to the temptation. We can overcome it, with the help of God. And so, when it comes to the way we talk, when it comes to the way that we communicate, that's our goal. The standard's been set. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth. So, let's strive to make those right choices, let's strive to live up to the standard that we've been called to. And I think when we do that – we strive to do that very thing – our communication has to change. And we'll find ourselves truly fellowshipping; truly fellowshipping in the way that God intends. And so, let's do that very thing, and let no corrupt word proceed out of our mouths.